Father’s Day is probably one of the most conflicted holidays for me. I have four incredible children, which bring me great pride and joy. I haven’t been the best father in the world and have failed them many times and in many different ways. That is not a pleasant thought for me. Still, I look at their lives and see responsible young adults who love the Lord and, for at least the first three, moved out of my house. Abi has also added to my bliss twice by making me a grandfather to Claire and Nick. When I think about it all, I am nothing short of amazed at how blessed I truly am.
On the other hand, every Father’s Day I think of my father. He is the man who literally taught me everything I knew about God in the first 12 years of my life and for that I am very grateful. He was sure that our family was in church and that we knew the Bible at home. He always had an issue with his temper and in the end his passions were his undoing. He left my mother, sisters and me for another woman and thereafter did not support us in any way really. Our contact with him was infrequent and rarely if ever initiated by him. In more recent years I realize that he does not know who I have become and certainly has no idea who my children are. That is his great loss and a huge sadness to me. I mourn for him. It also makes getting "just the right" Father's Day card very difficult. So often i don't get one at all. Then when I am reading the ones I get from my children (don't forget to mail early!) I end up feeling guilty along with the joy. See what I mean about conflicted feelings?
But still, through it all, I am overwhelmed by my Heavenly Father who has proved Himself to be more than enough to meet all my needs; physically, emotionally and spiritually. I love that song! "All of You, is more than enough for all of me, for every thirst and every need. You satisfy me with your love and all I have in You is more than enough." So I have positives and negatives that clamor for my focus for Father’s Day. Heavenly Father, forgive me for the times I focus on the wrong things and please help me to focus on You and my children this Father’s Day.
